I want all of this.
*crawls out of self-dug hole of depression and anti-socialness*
*talks to one person*
*crawls back in and digs a little deeper*
I’ve never been more emotional about any social media post in my entire life
UPDATE: guys Beth Broderick tweeted yesterday that this Salem is THE SAME SALEM!!! He’s 20 years old man!!!! 20!
That Salem is still kicking is all I care about.
disadvantages of having thick hair
- your head is always 100000 degrees
- shedding everywhere
- snapping thin combs
- spend $100 on dye if you want to color it
- hair is still wet 2 years after you showered
- styling your hair takes longer than growing it
advantages of having thick hair
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
God I love this story. John Mulaney’s the best.